Hmmm so what is the defination of friendship? Is it something that can be measured, or is it a mutual feeling that we have for the people we know? For me I really think its a little of both (yah I know, textbook answer). But seriously thats how I view it. I used to have a very serious friendship problem. I used to put a lot of effort on my friends, going all out for them, helping them in anything they need, and even going out of the way so much so that the thing troubles me so much more, just so that my friends can have an easier time. But thats mostly in the past. I'm not saying that I do not go all out for my friends anymore, I still help them in every way I can, but now I've learnt to draw the line. This is to protect myself. I mean you treating another person as your best friend may not get that same treatment from that 'best' friend. The other party may just take you as another one of his friends. I'm not saying all this because we do not want to be on the losing end of a friendship, but what I want to drive at is that we cannot put all our emotional support on friends. Because you never know when they will leave ya. I was just talking to one of my friends on facebook, and he is really one of my besties. But the thing is I've not met him in close to 5 months! I have to admit that I was a little annoyed and irritated because for the past 5 months, everytime I messaged him, he always had something on, he couldn't let me just have 1 night out with him. And to think that I've even prepared to treat him to his birthday dinner immediately after I got my 1st pay. But still I really do treat him as a great friend of mine. He's just a bitch whom I can pour all my frustrations to, and he always cranks me up. Well I hope I'll be able to meet him soon, when he's run out of excuses to not meet moi.
Well actually this post is not about him (he just happened to be on facebook just now, haha), the purpose of this post is really to talk about another person. Today I was on msn chatting with my friend when suddenly someone msn-ed me.
Friend: Long ge, how are you
Me: Yo, ho say bo
Friend: Bo ho leh
Me: y leh?
Friend: Eh you have 500 to lend me?
.........
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Yup, and the rest of the details are not that important. Well this friend of mine is not very close to me, in fact I've not seen him for the last 2 yrs (other than the occasional hi-bye when we meet in lectures or the canteens). Well its not exactly the best scenario that I like to encounter. It seems like he was really urgent for money, and he had some loans to pay. He really sounds desperate. I have to admit to being a little sceptical, because I don't understand what could have got him into this state. No doubt that the economy is not in its best shape, but it really hasn't reached this stage. One side of me is calling out for me to hold back, because I know that if I want to loan this out, I must be mentally prepared to not get the money back. And knowing that I do not command a very high pay, this is quite an amount for me. Or maybe he is using the money to repay gambling debts or use for drugs (I mean I can't think of anything that can cause him to be in such a bad state). Another part of me is telling me give him the benefit of doubt. Maybe he is really in need of the money, maybe he has some problems, maybe with health issues or his family is in some trouble. This money could be a life-saver, and a life line for him and his family. So I was struggling with a decision for the entire afternoon. And after he got my number, he kept messaging me. It really looks like he needed the money very urgently.
After a very serious and very long thought, I decided to lend him the money. I try to convince myself that he really needs the money to get through this period and not to use it for some bad purpose. I mean although I may not be very good friends with, and I do not meet him very often, but at the end of the day we are still considered as friends rite. And I don't want to see him jump down of a building because of $500. I'm just thinking on the bad side. Mentally I'm prepared to not get back the money already. Well I just hope that he'll use the money wisely, and of course return me when he's financially stable, haha. It really isn't about the money, but I think in terms of principles. Well good luck to him. Please don't take me as an ATM, cause this bank don't have a lot of reserves, hahaha.
Well actually this post is not about him (he just happened to be on facebook just now, haha), the purpose of this post is really to talk about another person. Today I was on msn chatting with my friend when suddenly someone msn-ed me.
Friend: Long ge, how are you
Me: Yo, ho say bo
Friend: Bo ho leh
Me: y leh?
Friend: Eh you have 500 to lend me?
.........
.....
...
..
.
Yup, and the rest of the details are not that important. Well this friend of mine is not very close to me, in fact I've not seen him for the last 2 yrs (other than the occasional hi-bye when we meet in lectures or the canteens). Well its not exactly the best scenario that I like to encounter. It seems like he was really urgent for money, and he had some loans to pay. He really sounds desperate. I have to admit to being a little sceptical, because I don't understand what could have got him into this state. No doubt that the economy is not in its best shape, but it really hasn't reached this stage. One side of me is calling out for me to hold back, because I know that if I want to loan this out, I must be mentally prepared to not get the money back. And knowing that I do not command a very high pay, this is quite an amount for me. Or maybe he is using the money to repay gambling debts or use for drugs (I mean I can't think of anything that can cause him to be in such a bad state). Another part of me is telling me give him the benefit of doubt. Maybe he is really in need of the money, maybe he has some problems, maybe with health issues or his family is in some trouble. This money could be a life-saver, and a life line for him and his family. So I was struggling with a decision for the entire afternoon. And after he got my number, he kept messaging me. It really looks like he needed the money very urgently.
After a very serious and very long thought, I decided to lend him the money. I try to convince myself that he really needs the money to get through this period and not to use it for some bad purpose. I mean although I may not be very good friends with, and I do not meet him very often, but at the end of the day we are still considered as friends rite. And I don't want to see him jump down of a building because of $500. I'm just thinking on the bad side. Mentally I'm prepared to not get back the money already. Well I just hope that he'll use the money wisely, and of course return me when he's financially stable, haha. It really isn't about the money, but I think in terms of principles. Well good luck to him. Please don't take me as an ATM, cause this bank don't have a lot of reserves, hahaha.
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