10 Day countdown

It is just 10 days away from my grad trip, getting excited. Excited over the trip, and also excited to see my bank accounts empty for the first time in my life. Well I have already prepared myself for reality, haiz having decided to go on this trip, I have already expected this day to come. My mum just told me that if I really need to just sign the card (my mum got a sub card for me, just in case I need to pay for anything in emergency, I love my mum), yup she told me not to wait till I'm hungry till I'm like crawling on the ground, haha how cute can my mum get. My bro has generously agreed to sponsor a little to my trip, yup, he's been of a lot of help lately. My birthday treat, sponsoring a little to trip, buying a wii so that I can play, and he even told me to sell his old Hp and use that money as a subsidy for my new Hp. Yup, thats why I love him too, hahaha. I love my family. We have our squabbles, and we hate each other at times, but that happens in every family right. And it is times like this that they show that they really care for me and hope that I enjoy myself. It does make me think that I've been pretty selfish at times. When the opportunity came to go on this trip, I literally jumped in, not really thinking that I will have any money issues. As you know, I'm not from a well to do family, far from it in fact. I knew that my account would barely be sufficient to support the trip, but I still readily agreed to the trip. Maybe deep in my heart I just thought that my family would support my decision, and lend their helping hand voluntarily. It didn't even come across to me that 'what-if' they didn't support me, what am I going to do. Even though I know that after I come back from the trip, I would be totally broke, but deep inside my evil self is telling me that someone will support me during that time. And now, I just feel that I am a little selfish. I always proclaim that I will spare a thought for others, for my family, but in times like this, I sort of let the dark side take over me. Not that I am saying that I regret agreeing to go on the trip, but it just makes me feel loved and cared for. All these times I've been taking things for granted, the things that I have and the people around me. I always tell my family that if they had the money just go on a holiday, buy things that they like for themselves, don't save up for me. My mum is going to HK with my aunt this sat, and she needs the money there, I don't want her to save on herself so that she can give me some money for my trip, my bro is going to Vietnam on sat as well, he too needs the cash to enjoy himself there and he's also thinking of going into investments now, so who am I to take their money so that I can enjoy myself, while they are feeling the pinch. This is the thing that is breaking my heart sometimes. I guess it is time for a little reflection on myself, now that I am moving to another phase of my life, I guess I'll need to grow up and face reality. I hope I will be able to secure a good job after I come back and treat my family to a good meal, and earn enough to bring them for holidays. Whatever it is, I've promised myself that in the future if my bro ever needs financial help (if he does) and that it is within my means, I will provide as much as I can. I guess thats the least I could do.

Having said that, I will be going to Sentosa tomorrow (I'm such a sucker), but its gonna be a cheap thing. We are just going there for a tan. No expensive expense. Its been ages since I last went to Sentosa, hopefully I can get my aunt's camera tomorrow morning. Well I do need to get it early to do some trial photo taking session. Need a crash course on how to maximise the camera. Okie, guess I better sleep early, gotta wake up early!

Hmmm... just wanna say it again I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!!