Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Worst words to say at work

I read an article on yahoo today and I thought its quite interesting and worth a thought. And I must admit that I have fallen prey to these words and phrases at work too. Time to reflect and improve myself for the better...
Worst words to say at work
By Linnda Durre.

Let’s look at some specific words and phrases that are used by some people to buy time, avoid giving answers and escape commitment. If you use these words and phrases yourself, take a scalpel and cut them out of your thinking, speaking and writing. Words like these only weaken you and make you sound noncommittal, undependable and untrustworthy.

“Try”
Try is a weasel word. “Well, I’ll try,” some people say. It’s a cop-out. They’re just giving you lip service when they probably have no real intention of doing what you ask. Remember what Yoda says to Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: “Do or do not–there is no try.” Take Yoda’s advice. Give it your all when you attempt something. And if it doesn’t work, start over.

Put passion into your work and give it your best effort, so you can know that you did all you could to make it happen. So if the outcome you were expecting didn’t come to fruition, it’s not because you didn’t do everything you could to make it happen. It just wasn’t the right time for it or it wasn’t meant to be.

“Whatever”
This word is a trusted favourite of people who want to dismiss you, diminish what you say or get rid of you quickly. “Whatever,” they will say as an all-purpose response to your earnest request. It’s an insult and a verbal slap in the face. It’s a way to respond to a person without actually responding. When you say whatever after another person has said his or her piece, you have essentially put up a wall between the two of you and halted any progress in communicating. It’s a word to avoid.

“Maybe” and “I don’t know”
People will sometimes avoid making a decision and hide behind words and phrases like “maybe” and “I don’t know.” There’s a difference between legitimately not knowing something and using words like these as excuses. Sometimes, during a confrontation, people will claim not to know something or offer the noncommittal response “maybe,” just to avoid being put on the spot. If that seems to be the case, ask, “When do you think you will know?” or “How can you find out?” Don’t let the person off the hook so easily.

“I’ll get back to you”
When people need to buy time or avoid revealing a project’s status, they will say, “I’ll get back to you,” and they usually never do. If people say they will get back to you, always clarify. Ask them when they will get back to you, and make sure they specify the day and time. If they don’t, then pin them down to a day and time and hold them to it. If they won’t give you a day or time, tell them you’ll call in a day or week and follow up. Make sure you call and get the information you need.

“If”
Projects depend on everyone doing his or her part. People who use if are usually playing the blame game and betting against themselves. They like to set conditions, rather than assuming a successful outcome. People who rely on conditional responses are fortifying themselves against potential failure. They will say, “If Bob finishes his part, then I can do my part.” They’re laying the groundwork for a “no fault” excuse and for not finishing their work.

There are always alternatives, other routes and ways to get the job done. Excuse makers usually have the energy of a slug, the vision of Mr. Magoo and the spine of a jellyfish. You don’t want them on your mountain climbing team up K-2 or Mount Everest.

“Yes, but …”
This is another excuse. You might give your team members suggestions or solutions and they come back to you with “Yes, but . . .” as a response. They don’t really want answers, help, or solutions. You need to call the “Yes, but . . .” people out on their avoidance tactic by saying something like: “You know, Jackie, every time I offer you a suggestion you say, ‘Yes, but . . . ,” which makes me think you don’t really want to solve this problem. That’s not going to work. If you want to play the victim, go right ahead, but I’m not going to allow you to keep this up and I may have to report you.” After a response like that, you can be assured that the next words you hear will not be, “Yes, but . . .”!

“I guess …”
This is usually said in a weak, soft-spoken, shoulder-shrugging manner. It’s another attempt to shirk responsibility–a phrase is only muttered when people half agree with you, but want to leave enough leeway to say, “Well, I didn’t really know. . . . I was only guessing.” If you use this phrase, cut it out of your vocabulary.

“We’ll see”
How many times did we hear our parents say this? We knew they were buying time, avoiding a fight or confrontation or really saying no. It’s better to be decisive and honest by saying, “I need more information. Please present your case or send me the data–both pro and con–so I can make an informed decision.” That way the interested parties will contribute to an in-depth, well-researched “verdict.”

This column is an excerpt of Surviving The Toxic Workplace (McGraw-Hill, 2010) by Linnda Durré, a psychotherapist, business consultant and columnist.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Happy 27

Happy Birthday to me... again... Yes, I'm getting older. As I inch my way to the big 30s, I look back and find that I really haven't achieved much in life. I really need to work harder and carve something out for myself. Oh well, let me enjoy this day(damn it I wanted to take leave lor, but office no one around, so I cannot take.... basket) first and think about the rest later.

Happy Birthday to ME and may all MY wishes come true... wahahaha. Good night world!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Crème The Hair Spa

Oh yes, let me take this opportunity to do some advertisement for this great saloon. It by a friend of mine, and he gives great kick ass haircuts. At reasonable prices, very good service, in a great environment (I've been there and the decor and all is just relaxing), and with a great view of the Singapore river. They also have a hair spa just beside his saloon to cater to every needs of your hair. They've also been mentioned on quite a few mags ie Herworld, Cleo etc. So if you need a great haircut or need a change your hair style and have no idea where to go, why not give them a call and make an appointment. You can discuss with them your ideas and see what magic they can do for you and your hair. Address and contact details can be found in their webby below

http://cremethehairspa.blogspot.com/

Oopss... I have a blog

Haha... Yes, I literally forgot that I have a blog... haven't been updating on my life for quite a while. So much has happened in the past few months. Well, my birthday is coming up very soon =), we have already started with the celebrations. First up was with my colleagues at Shanghai Dolly last Friday. Had another one at Play on Friday (it wasn't really meant to be my Birthday celebration, but I will still count it in anyway, haha), then last night was with my Uni guys at Dragonfly, today was with my family at Orchid Live Seafood restaurant. Then I'll be going to have dinner with do-do tomorrow (she's planning, finally), and another 2 more celebrations upcoming after that. OMG, so busy. Think I've been drinking a bit too much. The amount of alcohol I have in my body is now probably more than my blood. So my birthday resolution is to cut down on my alcohol, to cut down on my partying ways, and to get more exercise and become fitter. Not to mention my desire to find a higher paying job and one that I will enjoy more.

Oh yes, both the IRs have opened. MBS just did last week to much fanfare, I've not been there though. Also I went for a holiday to Macau in Mar. My love life is still as complicated as ever, in fact I think its getting more and more complicated by the day. Hope that I will be able to get my life sorted out soon. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!